Yeah? [ She doesn't fully understand, but... ] Well, the gratitude stands. Not exactly a ton of people out there who'd be willing to do something like that, especially given... everything about that hell.
[ Even if it's something he wants to do for reasons she can't understand, she recognizes what he's opening himself up to by doing it. ]
[ A moment of guilt as he thinks about Cunningham. It'll come and go. He isn't sure how to feel. Guilty about leaving her; angry about her trying to keep him in that town. ]
... but if I can save one person, I'd like to try.
[ It won't make up for anything. He isn't looking for redemption for what he's done. He doesn't want it, either. He killed a monster and feels fine with that - even if the town wanted to show him something else. He gets it - he made himself into something his son wouldn't recognize and it would never bring Charlie back, but he doesn't regret killing a monster.
A beat - a pause. ]
I know she's still... if it means seeing their child again, a parent will keep on.
[ Murphy doesn't say it again. But he will fine Rose. ]
[ Guilt shivers from their connection. Everyone has their own nightmare in Silent Hill—everyone who ends up there suffers. Murphy has suffered. More than that, he's lost someone important to him. ]
Do you... Do you have a kid, Murphy? [ Maybe it's not right to ask, maybe it's not the time, but Sharon has always been shit at waiting for the right moment. When she's curious, she goes for it. Murphy is a parent, she can feel that much from him. ]
[ Yeah, it makes sense she'd ask him that ... he gets it. ]
I did.
[ He breathes in, sharp, painful. ]
Charlie. He's ...
[ He breathes out, even more agony wraps up in a simple word. It's been so long; he could just say he's "gone." But he can't. He can't say that Charlie is gone when he still sees him in his dreams, his nightmares. The town let him see his son - let him hear his voice - and while it tormented him with the vision; he had that brief moment of being in the same room with him again. And that meant the world. ]
[ His pain—his agony—slams into her like a freight train, her lungs tightening under the weight of it. She's felt this kind of grief before—Jinx lost her girl too—but there's a part of her that thinks she should have seen it coming. ]
Shit, Murphy, I... [ The words falter, hollow and useless against something like this. No apology can touch it, can soften the edge of losing a child—and then add in Silent Hill... He didn't deserve any of it. ] I'm sorry. [ It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't even come close. But it's all she has to give. ]
[ He can't lie and say that it's all right. He should. It isn't her burden to bear, and it isn't right to have her console him. Still, he chews the inside of his cheek - not hard enough to draw blood but feeling the pressure of teeth on flesh.
His eyes close and he lifts his head up: ]
That's why I won't give up in making sure you two are reunited.
[ He turns it around, makes it hopeful; he feels a smile flicker on his face but can't keep it. Murphy wonders if it passes through their connection. A moment of guilt hits him - all the blood on his hands. Is it right to act like a good guy?
But just from what little Sharon told him of that cult. Her mother and her could use a monster in their corner. He's willing to be the monster that people fear. And maybe it is all just rationalization so he can kill someone. Maybe he just wants to feel good in murdering lunatics.
Even though he already knows it won't bring Charlie back. ]
I might do some monstrous things to ensure that happens, but -- [ But what? ] -- you don't have to worry about anything from me. Okay?
[ Sharon's chest feels heavy, as burdened by loss as Murphy's. He tries to thread a flicker of hope into their connection, a hint of a smile, but it's fleeting, gone the moment guilt crashes back in. He blames himself for... Charlie's death, or something tied to it. But isn't that what parents do? Convince themselves they could shield their children from the world, no matter how impossible it is. ]
Monstrous things in response to monstrous things aren't monstrous. [ Steady. Firm. This is a long-held belief of hers, born decades before Sharon was created. ] Fuck, I could watch you kill a man with your bare hands, and as long as he deserved it, it wouldn't change much. I can feel who you are, Murphy. And... sometimes, people deserve to die. [ Sometimes, the more brutal, the better. ]
I don't think you could do anything to make me worry about my safety, or my mother's, when you're around. [ Unflinchingly genuine. ]
[ There is a moment of hesitation - of wanting to be a "good adult." He wants to be the kind of person that would say that isn't true. He wants to say regardless a person deserves to be judged for their crimes instead of ruthlessly killed. Killing that monster didn't bring his son back, but he doesn't regret killing him.
He regrets only he let a monster change him into someone that Charlie might not recognize. But if the person that he is now would've ensure his son was still with him -- it's complicated. He ends that line of thinking. ]
... and you're right. Sometimes, people deserve to die.
[ A pained pause. ] I know that it's not right to tell you that, Sharon. You should believe that no one does, but I know from what I felt you've seen it... I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt for whatever happens to those lunatics.
[ A sympathetic sigh. ] No one should believe that, Murphy. That's not reality, and it's a dangerous belief to keep if you're not a kid—and I'm not a kid.
I reserve my guilt for the people who deserve it, the people who got dragged into something against their will. Cultists, though? [ She laughs bitterly. ] Fuck 'em. They killed my dad. I hope they suffer.
[ There is a moment - a second - where he feels like telling her that she is still a kid. Compared to him, she has so much of her life left. She shouldn't let them ruin it, but he can't bring himself to say it.
Because it's too hypocritical for him to even humor saying. ]
If I see any of 'em while looking for Rose, I'll make sure they do.
[ Softly: ] Think of it as a message from you to them... letting them know that they should back off, yeah?
But I want you to know... right here and now... even if we're against each other by whatever bullshit she pulls, I am on your side. I'll choose your side each time if I can. Got it?
You could turn into something much worse than a fish. Someone I know here sprouts tentacles and eyeballs and a stomach mouth...[ Fish is pretty good, all things considered.
But—Oh. What Murphy says next tugs at every heart string. ] Y-Yeah, I... Yeah, I got it. Goes both ways, though, okay?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2026-03-12 11:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-12 11:51 pm (UTC)[ Because they shouldn't be separated... they shouldn't have had to in the first place. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-13 03:26 am (UTC)[ Even if it's something he wants to do for reasons she can't understand, she recognizes what he's opening himself up to by doing it. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-14 01:54 am (UTC)[ A moment of guilt as he thinks about Cunningham. It'll come and go. He isn't sure how to feel. Guilty about leaving her; angry about her trying to keep him in that town. ]
... but if I can save one person, I'd like to try.
[ It won't make up for anything. He isn't looking for redemption for what he's done. He doesn't want it, either. He killed a monster and feels fine with that - even if the town wanted to show him something else. He gets it - he made himself into something his son wouldn't recognize and it would never bring Charlie back, but he doesn't regret killing a monster.
A beat - a pause. ]
I know she's still... if it means seeing their child again, a parent will keep on.
[ Murphy doesn't say it again. But he will fine Rose. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-16 03:54 am (UTC)Do you... Do you have a kid, Murphy? [ Maybe it's not right to ask, maybe it's not the time, but Sharon has always been shit at waiting for the right moment. When she's curious, she goes for it. Murphy is a parent, she can feel that much from him. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-16 08:05 am (UTC)I did.
[ He breathes in, sharp, painful. ]
Charlie. He's ...
[ He breathes out, even more agony wraps up in a simple word. It's been so long; he could just say he's "gone." But he can't. He can't say that Charlie is gone when he still sees him in his dreams, his nightmares. The town let him see his son - let him hear his voice - and while it tormented him with the vision; he had that brief moment of being in the same room with him again. And that meant the world. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-17 09:42 pm (UTC)Shit, Murphy, I... [ The words falter, hollow and useless against something like this. No apology can touch it, can soften the edge of losing a child—and then add in Silent Hill... He didn't deserve any of it. ] I'm sorry. [ It doesn't fix anything. It doesn't even come close. But it's all she has to give. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-17 11:46 pm (UTC)His eyes close and he lifts his head up: ]
That's why I won't give up in making sure you two are reunited.
[ He turns it around, makes it hopeful; he feels a smile flicker on his face but can't keep it. Murphy wonders if it passes through their connection. A moment of guilt hits him - all the blood on his hands. Is it right to act like a good guy?
But just from what little Sharon told him of that cult. Her mother and her could use a monster in their corner. He's willing to be the monster that people fear. And maybe it is all just rationalization so he can kill someone. Maybe he just wants to feel good in murdering lunatics.
Even though he already knows it won't bring Charlie back. ]
I might do some monstrous things to ensure that happens, but -- [ But what? ] -- you don't have to worry about anything from me. Okay?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-22 03:35 am (UTC)Monstrous things in response to monstrous things aren't monstrous. [ Steady. Firm. This is a long-held belief of hers, born decades before Sharon was created. ] Fuck, I could watch you kill a man with your bare hands, and as long as he deserved it, it wouldn't change much. I can feel who you are, Murphy. And... sometimes, people deserve to die. [ Sometimes, the more brutal, the better. ]
I don't think you could do anything to make me worry about my safety, or my mother's, when you're around. [ Unflinchingly genuine. ]
1/2
Date: 2026-03-22 05:59 pm (UTC)He regrets only he let a monster change him into someone that Charlie might not recognize. But if the person that he is now would've ensure his son was still with him -- it's complicated. He ends that line of thinking. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-22 06:08 pm (UTC)[ He could leave it like that, but -- ]
... and you're right. Sometimes, people deserve to die.
[ A pained pause. ] I know that it's not right to tell you that, Sharon. You should believe that no one does, but I know from what I felt you've seen it... I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt for whatever happens to those lunatics.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-24 03:33 am (UTC)I reserve my guilt for the people who deserve it, the people who got dragged into something against their will. Cultists, though? [ She laughs bitterly. ] Fuck 'em. They killed my dad. I hope they suffer.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-25 04:22 pm (UTC)Because it's too hypocritical for him to even humor saying. ]
If I see any of 'em while looking for Rose, I'll make sure they do.
[ Softly: ] Think of it as a message from you to them... letting them know that they should back off, yeah?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-27 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-28 09:07 pm (UTC)At least, I like to think so.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-29 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-29 03:36 am (UTC)Guess you're right about that...
[ Sigh. ]
How can anyone live there? And like survive?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-30 03:39 am (UTC)In some ways, it's... not so different than how we've survived Manhattan. [ And that's a hard pill to swallow. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-30 03:58 am (UTC)We wouldn't try to hunt down innocent people.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-02 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-04-03 02:44 am (UTC)But I want you to know... right here and now... even if we're against each other by whatever bullshit she pulls, I am on your side. I'll choose your side each time if I can. Got it?
no subject
Date: 2026-04-03 10:54 pm (UTC)But—Oh. What Murphy says next tugs at every heart string. ] Y-Yeah, I... Yeah, I got it. Goes both ways, though, okay?
no subject
Date: 2026-04-05 05:18 am (UTC)[ He pauses and breathes out something - it sounds fond. ] Okay. It goes both ways.