Then... he's not looking at you very hard, I guess.
[ But he understands that point, too. He didn't think Charlie in that town was anything more than a hallucination. But what if he was just like Maria? Still a harrowing thought to think about -- ]
You don't... have to thank me about something like that...
[ His voice feels just as strained as hers. He feels his mouth twist as she says they don't have to get so emotional; it feels like a rock in his chest. But it probably is getting close to the dream ending. ]
Hey... you don't have to laugh off when you're hurt. [ His whole body feels cold but he has to say that much. ]
[Maria wishes she could tell Murphy just how much she appreciates this. how he really made something so hard and terrifying feel better. that she could remember that somewhere, someone wanted to help her. even if he couldn't and it was an impossibility that felt mocking in some ways...well, she still knew she had someone like him on her side.
but she doesn't. that's not fair to him. he's got his own shit and the entire point of her has been to not weigh a man down. Maria doesn't have problems. she's fun and casual and she'll never be anything but a source of comfort. that's what she'd been born for and even if she's outgrown that, it's still hard not to consider it as such.
Maria shrugs and smiles.] I've spent a lot of time screaming into the void and if I'm finally going to be heard? Don't know. Might as well make it worth hearing. It's better to joke sometimes. Enjoy what you got instead of wasting it by bitching.
Anything you say is worth hearing. Even if it is bitching.
[ Murphy breathes something that is almost like a laugh, something to break the tension, something involuntary due to nerves. He remembers what she said before that he shouldn't overthink it, and just give a compliment without waddling on what he is saying. ]
I dunno. I just want you to know that, Maria.
[ His head tilts in her direction, trying to show how sincere he is. Saying he's sorry doesn't sound right; it sounds like something she'd have to console him about. "Sorry, I can't save you." Is this overthinking? ]
And I don't know what this place will throw at us... I might end up nuts again and acting not like myself... but I'll tell you what I told someone else, I'm on your side. [ It's the best promise he can hope to give in these circumstances. ]
If I can choose it, I'm going to choose to believe in you.
[how many times had she longed for these kinds of interactions? even when she'd joked and James acted like she was talking insanity. or when she'd tried to let him simply vent. talk about anything he wanted. every attempt never worked. James had never wanted to talk to her, no matter how hard she tried to be fun and caring.
and Murphy here just wanted to help.
she opens her mouth to say something and then all that comes out is a huff of air. possibly ready to turn into a little more broken than a laugh.]
It would have been nice if I'd been made for you. But a guy like you wouldn't have made a woman like me, probably. Moot point. But I think if I could been with you, all this might have ended up differently.
He lets out something like a sigh as he steps forward. Somehow, it feels like there's some insurmountable distance between them since the revelation of what she is. He decides to cross it. His steps don't sound loud to him as he walks, but they feel slower than what he'd like.
Standing in front of her, he can't muster a smile.
Instead, he reaches out to pull her - to hold her, to silently offer as many apologies as he thinks she deserves. He doesn't think there will ever be enough, if anyone were to ask him.
Maybe it would've ended differently... he's sorry it can't end differently now. ]
[this isn't her first time being held but it's still among only the handful—all since she's come here. James never saw her as someone, or something, worth being held. when he did hug her thinking she was Mary surely didn't count. it never felt sincere, real.
but this is just that and Maria thinks that if she can remember this moment. that a man like Murphy who didn't seem like the emotional type, the kind of man to hug someone like that, could hold her? maybe miracles could happen.
and all she could do was hold him back, wrap her arms around him and try not to cry. tears would only ruin the moment and the dream ending would do just that anyway.]
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no subject
Date: 2026-04-10 02:06 am (UTC)[ But he understands that point, too. He didn't think Charlie in that town was anything more than a hallucination. But what if he was just like Maria? Still a harrowing thought to think about -- ]
You don't... have to thank me about something like that...
[ His voice feels just as strained as hers. He feels his mouth twist as she says they don't have to get so emotional; it feels like a rock in his chest. But it probably is getting close to the dream ending. ]
Hey... you don't have to laugh off when you're hurt. [ His whole body feels cold but he has to say that much. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-12 03:51 am (UTC)but she doesn't. that's not fair to him. he's got his own shit and the entire point of her has been to not weigh a man down. Maria doesn't have problems. she's fun and casual and she'll never be anything but a source of comfort. that's what she'd been born for and even if she's outgrown that, it's still hard not to consider it as such.
Maria shrugs and smiles.] I've spent a lot of time screaming into the void and if I'm finally going to be heard? Don't know. Might as well make it worth hearing. It's better to joke sometimes. Enjoy what you got instead of wasting it by bitching.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-12 04:38 am (UTC)[ Murphy breathes something that is almost like a laugh, something to break the tension, something involuntary due to nerves. He remembers what she said before that he shouldn't overthink it, and just give a compliment without waddling on what he is saying. ]
I dunno. I just want you to know that, Maria.
[ His head tilts in her direction, trying to show how sincere he is. Saying he's sorry doesn't sound right; it sounds like something she'd have to console him about. "Sorry, I can't save you." Is this overthinking? ]
And I don't know what this place will throw at us... I might end up nuts again and acting not like myself... but I'll tell you what I told someone else, I'm on your side. [ It's the best promise he can hope to give in these circumstances. ]
If I can choose it, I'm going to choose to believe in you.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-13 12:37 am (UTC)and Murphy here just wanted to help.
she opens her mouth to say something and then all that comes out is a huff of air. possibly ready to turn into a little more broken than a laugh.]
It would have been nice if I'd been made for you. But a guy like you wouldn't have made a woman like me, probably. Moot point. But I think if I could been with you, all this might have ended up differently.
no subject
Date: 2026-04-13 12:43 am (UTC)He lets out something like a sigh as he steps forward. Somehow, it feels like there's some insurmountable distance between them since the revelation of what she is. He decides to cross it. His steps don't sound loud to him as he walks, but they feel slower than what he'd like.
Standing in front of her, he can't muster a smile.
Instead, he reaches out to pull her - to hold her, to silently offer as many apologies as he thinks she deserves. He doesn't think there will ever be enough, if anyone were to ask him.
Maybe it would've ended differently... he's sorry it can't end differently now. ]
no subject
Date: 2026-04-14 12:50 am (UTC)but this is just that and Maria thinks that if she can remember this moment. that a man like Murphy who didn't seem like the emotional type, the kind of man to hug someone like that, could hold her? maybe miracles could happen.
and all she could do was hold him back, wrap her arms around him and try not to cry. tears would only ruin the moment and the dream ending would do just that anyway.]